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June 2021 Edition

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Read on for Tero's Take. Want a deeper dive? Keep scrolling for bonus information, resources and application tips.

 

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As we return to work post pandemic, our opportunities for interacting in person will increase. It was easy on virtual platforms like Zoom or Teams to address people by name as their name was imprinted on the tile right by their face. In person, unless nametags are used, we do not have the assist. Why is remembering names important?

Have you ever felt as if people forgot you even though they had been introduced to you? Have you ever felt guilty for forgetting a name or simple facts about someone you previously met?

All too often we are hearing a name and details about a person during an introduction. It takes a certain amount of focus to concentrate on the other person rather than on ourselves. We inaccurately think our ability or inability to remember relies on a good memory. Does it? Before our memory encodes information, motivation to actually receive the name and know the person must happen. Motivation to remember is the key.

How important is it to others that we do get their name? That we concentrate and focus on them? That we remember details they share of who they are?

To find out we can look at the research around being forgotten.

University of Aberdeen researchers measured how people interpreted being forgotten. At the beginning of the school year, they asked students to keep a journal for two weeks detailing every time their name was forgotten. The results, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, suggest that forgetting someone does send the message everyone fears: you weren’t interested in that person enough to remember things about them.

Those who were forgotten reported decreased sense of belonging and meaning in the world. As one student remarked, “It’s an insult, even though it’s completely innocent. By forgetting, you just told that person they’re a zero.”

Let’s take this one step further. Being forgotten takes a toll on people who deal with it often—especially if it coincides with other elements of discrimination. The researchers earliest inspiration for looking into forgetting came from witnessing a professor constantly mix up the names of two of his non-white graduate students.

The big question for scientists isn’t why people forget but why people remember certain things.

The big question for us is why aren’t we interested enough in those around us to focus on and value them rather than ourselves?

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Over the past year most of our teamwork shifted to remote interactions. We met virtually, both for business concerns with our team as well as to stay connected. Cooking classes with coworkers, happy hours and game nights via Zoom became opportunities to strengthen connections with team members to create what is easily lost when doing teamwork virtually. Trust.

Although trust is a foundation for any relationship, it plays a particularly important role in virtual team dynamics. Effective virtual teams establish swift trust.

Communication that is clear and team members who know their role can set the wheels of swift trust in motion. Team members who reach out and connect whether individually or to the group fuel the likelihood trust will develop. As we go back to face to face interactions or hybrid situations how can we use what we learned through our year of remote working about creating trust in our team?

Terence Brake, author of Where in the World Is My Team? identified nine personal qualities that prepare the soil for trust among team members in a virtual environment. It would do well for us to establish these in our teams whether virtual or not.

Respect, Openness, Transparency, Integrity, Empathy, Caring, Confidence, Congeniality, Reciprocity

Unfortunately, these words mean different things to those with personality and cultural differences. What personality types and cultural groups are represented on your team? What are the values of each? Where do the team members line up as to communication style, orientation to task, view of power, individualism or group perspective, and time orientation? Knowing the personality and cultural variances will help you set inclusive guidelines for team interactions.

How can you find out what these variances are? By asking the simple question “What do these mean to you?” before assuming. Knowing others definition and expectation will streamline potential pitfalls.

Pre-pandemic we didn’t have mass experience working virtually. The likelihood of misunderstanding others was greater when remote. Virtual teams required more swift trust than face-to-face teams to be effective.

We need to challenge ourselves as we return to work in person, especially when we will likely see hybrid meetings with some people remote and others present. We could benefit from an attention to Brake's outlined list of qualities that build trust in teams. We have a unique opportunity to leverage what we gained in building trust virtually. How can we apply what we learned as we return to work on our teams in person?

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Heading back to the office? You might find yourself rummaging through your closet wondering what to wear. After more than a year of wearing workout clothes to work at home, or only needing to be concerned with your Zoom image you may find it difficult to find anything that seems right...and that fits. Most people joked about gaining the Covid 19, but the CDC reports the weight gain on average might be higher. Even Gwyneth Paltrow admitted she gained 14 pounds over the course of nine months.

You might decide to go out shopping for something new, but a recent article in The Atlantic (June 2021) in a feature called “Burn the Leggings” illustrated that might be troublesome.

In the feature they cited that anyone selling clothes last year was hard hit. Sales hit a nosedive and if people did spend money they spent it on things with elastic waistbands. The most viral brand bought last year was something called the “Nap Dress”.

Clothing buyers 4-6 months prior to this season of return-to-work had no idea if people would be staying home or going out, if the vaccinations would work or if we would have a resurge so they were cautious. Which is why a supply of business-appropriate clothing may not fill the short-term demand.

Why does this matter? We all got used to a more casual environment. Our context was home and if you didn’t feel the need to wear a suit as you would in the office, you probably relaxed even your view of business casual.

But our context is changing and we will be showing up in person.

Whether we like it or not clothing is a language. It communicates to others information about us. Dr. Albert Mehrabian, professor and researcher from the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA) showed that 55 percent of the impact we have on others comes from the visual elements of communication such as body language, eye contact, attire and facial expression. Thirty-eight percent of the impact in face-to-face communication comes from vocal quality. Things like intonation, speed and clarity. The remaining 7 percent of the impression comes from the words used.

Since attire fits into over half of what we visually communicate, taking some time to figure out the clothes that give the right message makes sense. We actually have a chance for a new first impression. We are, in some sense, starting over. Things like the Nap Dress probably aren’t going to message our professionalism. The time is now to figure out what will.

 

Want a deeper dive into these topics? For more information, resources and application tips, keep reading.

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