Work and home had an element of applecart upset in 2020. Work and life merged so drastically the idea of the two being separate was severely challenged.

Yet people found ways to manage the distraction and to focus.

What did it take to do that?

Competitive athletes can give us a clue.

Iowa-raised gymnast, Shawn Johnson, exemplified what it takes in her events at the Olympic games of 2008. Watching her get ready to compete on the balance beam was telling. After Shawn powdered up her hands, the camera focused in on a clear shot of her face. It was impossible not to see the combination of focus and determination there. Although she was in an arena with thousands of people, she was clearly not in that noisy, stressful space at all. Her look communicated there were only two things at that moment she was present with, the balance beam and herself.

The National Academy of Sports Medicine explains this ability.

 "For most athletes, the more fatigued they become the more they tune into distractions, for example, the crowd, the coach, other things happening beyond the competition or their competitors. The more an athlete focuses on distractions instead of performance, the more this will increase a sense of fatigue, anxiety, lack of focus and a lack of concentration. It is suggested that athletes find skills that they can apply to increase their concentration and ability to focus on what is about to happen within the competition. Skills can be: positive cue words, breathing and energizing imagery. It's important for athletes to think about what they are doing in the current performance setting rather than how they are feeling, particularly about something outside of the competition and many times outside of their control.”

Ian Palombo, an elite sports trainer states “The present moment is the only time that an athlete–or all humans, for that matter–can execute, yet we spend so much of our time dwelling on the past or the future.”

One could argue many distractions went away during the pandemic as life became focused on staying in and staying well. Yet new and unfamiliar distractions emerged as we coped. We were presented the opportunity to do what the athletes do, to stay focused and present in order to perform whatever we had to do to the best of our ability.

 In that respect, the conditions of the pandemic gave us a powerful lesson.

A study by Florida Atlantic University found that women who had vocal fry were perceived as less competent, less educated, less trustworthy and less hirable.

What is Vocal Fry?

In layman’s terms it sounds as if the voice lowers at the end of a word, sentence or thought. The Kardashians, Katy Perry and Brittany Spears voices all demonstrate the sound.

Most listeners find it very annoying. It can cause a woman to be perceived as stupid, insincere, emotional, or bored with the conversation they are participating in. The listener can’t be sure they are even interested in what is being said.

Women are not born speaking with vocal fry. It is a learned speech pattern. Thomas Brown, an interview coach, states “If your friend group or work colleagues are using it, then you probably will also. It’s contagious and passed around like the flu.”

A University of Louisiana study found that when tested by asking to say normal words,86% of women indicated vocal fry. Diane DiResta, communication expert has stated “adolescent girls are subconsciously adopting this speech pattern, and it’s limiting their employment opportunities.”

Why is this more prevalent in women, especially those under 40? Brown shared “Some linguists believe young women tend to be more sensitive in their social interactions, thus more likely to detect and utilize different vocal cues. As they repeat these different vocal cues during daily contact with their social community, others repeat them and incorporate them into their daily speech and the chain continues.”

According to Carmen Fought, a professor of Linguistics at Pitzer College in Claremont, CA, this pattern is used because young women take linguistic features and use them as power tools for building relationships.

The issue with this mode of speaking is that it becomes a habit that is difficult to change. If we are going to an interview or have an important meeting, we can dress appropriately, probably different from our casual wear at home. It’s not as easy switching up our vocal pattern for it is an ingrained habit.

The research around vocal fry’s capacity to limit opportunity is clear. It gets in the way of the message being heard, and it is a pattern not every generation is familiar with hearing.

Record your voice. Listen for patterns. Get feedback from others. What is your voice communicating about you? More importantly does it match how you wish to be perceived?

Often, when we encounter stress, we unthinkingly enter fight, flight or freeze mode. If you’re not familiar with those modes, here’s a quick refresher for you.

Think of a time at work where you experienced stress, whether it was a short deadline, a difficult client, a colleague who challenged you, or something else entirely. Now, if your instincts caused you to fight, you might have become aggressive or competitive. You might yell, argue or start making demands.

If your flight instinct kicked in, you might have become passive, shutting down emotionally, becoming too accommodating, or removing yourself from the situation before reaching resolution.

And if you freeze, you might go totally blank, forgetting what you wanted to say or do entirely.

All of these responses, of course, are usually pretty bad ways to handle stress in the workplace.

One way you can handle unproductive emotions, instead of reverting to your instincts, is to practice compassion. And you can help your coworkers manage their emotions by treating them with compassion as well.

This idea was explored in a study from Wharton management professor Sigal Barsade, and it’s about what she refers to as “companionate love.”

“Companionate love” is when coworkers ask and care about each other’s issues, inside or outside of work. It’s also when they’re careful about each other’s feelings. Another term for this could simply be compassion.

Alongside George Mason University professor Olivia O’Neill, Barsade conducted a 16-month study at a health care facility employing 185 people. They asked employees to rate the amount of compassion that coworkers showed to each other.

Then they surveyed employees on their engagement and satisfaction in the workplace. Participants rated their agreement on items like “Staff care about this team and work together to make it one of the best,” and “I can count on my co-workers for help and cooperation.” There were also general items like “I feel valued,” and “Overall I am satisfied working here.”

Barsade and O’Neill found that the higher employees rated compassion, the lower they reported rates of emotional exhaustion and absenteeism after 16 months. The researchers reported that higher rates of compassion contributed to better teamwork and better overall employee satisfaction.

What can we take from this study? We don’t need to resort to the old tools of fight, flight or freeze. Try practicing compassion.